we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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