she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
