you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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