He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
