I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
