even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
