My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
