Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
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my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
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We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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