look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
