I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Is Oprah even human
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
