When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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