Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
