just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
