You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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