i just had sex bonerless
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
When did angry sex become our thing?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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