guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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