Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
