Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I need to calm my uterus...
Randomize