Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
