I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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