can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
