Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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