is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
