So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
he fucked my hip out of place.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
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