Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
