That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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