I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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