I heard we made out
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Randomize
