Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize