I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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