We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
