I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
