At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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