i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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