Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
