I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
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