the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
it glows. i had to have it.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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