3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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