New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
That reminds me...we need to get swords
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
