at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
i've created a new STD.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
