That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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