He had one of those small greek statue penises
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
