you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
he laminated a picture of his dick.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
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I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
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I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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