my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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