Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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