Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
