I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
