I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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