Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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