Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
