Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
