so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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