There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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