The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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