I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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