TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
