She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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