She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Randomize
