Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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