I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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